In a perfect world, time brings about maturity, and maturity brings about wisdom. Wise people should strive to gain understanding. In Proverbs 4:7, the bible tells us that getting wisdom is very important, and that during that time we should strive to develop understanding/discernment (or a discerning spirit). It stands to reason that the more discernment a person has, the more likely they are to exercise sound judgment and good decision–making skills. Despite being aware of this, we often value what the world values – looks, status, power and money – especially when considering a boyfriend and potential husband. I listed all of those things, but my main focus is going to be looks because I find that people (men and women) will let a lot (lack of ambition, cheating, abuse, etc.) slide if a person is beautiful, handsome or ____ (insert your own synonym for attractive here).
Focusing on physical attraction, as the determining factor of whether a person is worth being in a relationship with, is an unbiblical approach to relationships. Please don’t misunderstand, I do agree that you must be physically attracted to the person you date (and ultimately marry), and he to you. After all, you have to wake up to him every morning, among other things. 🙂 But, physical attraction can’t be the sole basis for determining whether a man is the right one for you.
When we are deciding whether to date someone or even go out with them for that matter, we consider their material possessions or physical attributes. The order/importance of the considerations will differ from one woman to the next, but you get the point. We often consider things that are generally of little overall importance. Part of the problem is we want family, friends and even passersby to look at our mate and give us the proverbial thumbs up or a nod of approval. We want people to think, “They look good together.”
Several months ago, I met a nice young man who is very persistent. But, he’s just not my type. Shame on me, I know. But, I’m not attracted to him. My friend’s husband keeps saying, “You need to give that man a chance!” This is a situation I have prayed about. I have asked God to make me receptive of the right man, even if he doesn’t match my “preferences.” At the same time, I have also asked God to present me to a man to whom I am physically attracted. (I’ll be sharing some of my open letter to God in a few weeks). I have faith that He will.
Another thing that prevents me from dating him is that he’s not active in his church, though he does sometimes go. It is unfortunate that I considered his lack of a desire to increase his level of spiritual maturity after I considered his looks. The bible talks about the values we should desire and pray for in a mate – godliness, the fruit of the spirit and noble character. We should desire an honest, patient, humble man after God’s own heart. Ultimately, we should value those things God values, not what the world values. Handsomeness and vitality are fleeting. Only what is inside a man’s heart will last.
Trust the perfection of God’s timing.
We’ve reached the end… about 2 ½ weeks behind my projected timeline. I hope you understand. It is my prayer that something I’ve written has made a difference in your life.
I wish you peace and blessings!