Word of the Year – 2015

Happy New Year!!! Better late than never. Right? Right! Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, I’m all about a word of the year (at least for the past 2 years). 🙂 2015 will be the third year I have chosen a word of the year. I actually chose this word before the end of 2014, but I just haven’t taken (I won’t say I haven’t had, because we all know we make time for the things we want to make time for.) the time to sit down and complete the post.

The purpose of a word of the year is to choose a word that reflects what you most want to change about yourself or a word that reflects what you want God to do in, through or with you and then concentrate on that word for the entire year.

For 2013 my word was surrender.

For 2014 my word was praise.

For 2015 my words are Discipline/Focus.

I felt that discipline and focus were so interrelated that I could not separate them. After all, you need discipline to focus on areas of your life that need attention. Therefore, I have 2 words this year.

Discipline (n): an activity, exercise or regimen that assists you in developing a skill.

Focus (v): to pay particular attention to.

My focus verse for the year is Titus 1:8 Rather, [s]he must be hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. 

In that context, disciplined means to exhibit a controlled manner of behavior. At this point in my life, I feel that I truly need discipline so that I can focus on accomplishing my goals – deepening my walk with God, building a client base for my legal practice, launching a marketing plan for Sugarcoated and resuming my exercise regimen. All of these things are essential to my happiness and health (mental and physical).

I need to be disciplined as it relates to the way I go about accomplishing my goals. If you, like me, need the discipline to focus OR need to be disciplined as it relates to your life’s goals, here are three steps that will help you:

  1. Fix Your Focus on God
  2. Accept God’s help
  3. Adopt a Plan

In such a busy world, many of us can’t, don’t or won’t focus on God because of ringing phones, pinging text messages, meeting reminders, the requirements of personal and home life and the chirping Facebook, Instagram and Twitter notifications. These things get our attention before God.

We don’t seek and accept God’s help because we live in a world where we seek instant gratification. We try to figure things out for ourselves.

We don’t adopt plans because we fly by the seats of our pants. We’ve all heard the phrase, “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” We try one method for a while, then we see that someone else is going about it a different way and we decide to try their way.

We all need more focus in some area(s) of our lives. What do you need discipline to focus on? If you like me need discipline to focus, here is a prayer for you to pray.

Dear Father,

Give us a heart that surrenders to you and your will. Grant us the discipline necessary to focus on you, your purpose for our lives and our goals. Bring about focus so that we aren’t distracted by the details and busyness of our lives. In your son, Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Wishing you Blessings throughout the New Year,

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P.S. We have lots of Valentine’s Day Items (for men AND women) available. Check out our site by clicking here.

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My One Night Stand

SOURCE: mouthymag.com

SOURCE: mouthymag.com

Now that I have your attention, I’ll get to the real point. 🙂 Being a Christian Single can be difficult. With that being the case, I look for every opportunity to strengthen my resolve. Several weeks ago I attended a singles conference sponsored by the I.M.A.G.E. Ministry at Elizabeth Baptist Church here in Atlanta. Both nights were awesome, but this post is about the 2nd night when the guest pastor was Rev. Dr. R. A. Vernon. His topic was entitled “Welcome to the One Night Stand.” During his message he reviewed his 10 Rules of Dating. I’m going to share them with you, but I strongly encourage you to buy the book. I did, and I have been blessed by it. I am even planning on sharing it with friends. In the book, each rule begins a new chapter. In that chapter are anecdotes and scripture references. Below, I have listed each rule and a few notes about that rule.

10 RULES OF DATING

Rule 1: There Must be Physical Attraction: Although looks aren’t everything, date someone with the physical attributes that you like. Are you attracted to your mate? Proverbs 5:19

Rule 2: They Must Love Jesus: Do not date anyone who does not love Jesus more than they love you. Is your mate a Christian? Amos 3:3

Rule 3: There Must be Compatibility and Connectivity: Can you talk about more than Jesus and shared interests? If you need an intellectual, get one.

Rule 4: Discuss Each Other’s Past: This will help determine the presence (or lack thereof) of emotional baggage, sexual expectations within the marriage, how they were raised, past experiences, etc. Rev. Dr. Vernon suggests asking and discussing number of sexual partners.  (My Caveat: Only do this if you think you can accept this information and not bring it up in future arguments.) There are some really wonderful people who don’t qualify for a future with you based upon past decisions (financial, sexual, etc.)

Rule 5: Discuss Children: Do you both want them; could you do without; or does he or she already have a child/children? Choosing not to date a person with children, doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you honest about the life you want with your future spouse.

Rule 6: Talk About Money:  Discuss finances. Talk about your financial reality, not your financial potential. How much money do you both have right now (not how much do you one day plan on having)?

Rule 7: Pace Yourself/Slow Down: What’s the rush?  You have nothing but time. Slowing down will allow for time to think and more importantly clearly hear from God concerning this person.

Rule 8: Engage or Disengage: Pee or get off the pot. If you are not dating with the purpose of getting married, what are you doing? Date with a purpose. You can go out for dinner and drinks with your platonic friends. After 1 year (2 at the most), you should be ready to get engaged. If not, disengage and go your separate ways.

Rule 9: Go to Counseling: Be honest about your issues. Seek individual counseling before marital counseling.

Rule 10: Don’t Touch: Rev. Dr. Vernon encourages no hugging because hugging leads to kissing, kissing leads to touching and touching leads to sex. But, a better question to ask is, “Is this person willing to wait until marriage?”

My 3 Takeaways for You:
(1)  Date Purposefully/ Date on Assignment.
(2)  Ask the important questions up front; and be prepared to cut ties if the answer is unacceptable to you.
(3)  Buy the Book.

Love, peace and blessings,

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P.S. Fall is here!!! I think fall is my favorite season. I am introducing some new soaps for fall. They are Apple Spice (below), Pumpkin Spice (below), Cinnamon Oatmeal, Honeyed Ginger, Spiced Cranberry and Just Soap. There will also be a few more great fragrances for Christmas. Visit the website and order yours today by clicking here.

Pumpkin Spice Cranberry Spice - Prop

P.P.S. If you’d like to purchase the book, the Kindle Version is available on Amazon by clicking here; and a paperback copy is available for purchase here.

Purposeful Pursuit

It has been a while. I know. But, during the brief hiatus, I have still been writing, I just haven’t been sharing. I have also been doing a lot of thinking. I have been thinking about my life and my health and how those are tied to and reflective of my relationship with God.

A few months ago, I REALLY wanted egg nog. I craved it so much that I went to 4 different stores looking for it. The only problem was that I didn’t NEED it. It is full of calories and sugar that I definitely don’t need in my life. As I was driving back home from the 4th and final store, this thought came to mind – wouldn’t it be great if we pursued God with such intentionality.

The human side of us/our flesh causes us to pursue things we want that aren’t good for us. They aren’t intrinsically bad either, but we want them before God is ready for us to have them. The human side of us causes us to be impatient – seeking immediate gratification. You see that cake – you want it. You’ll figure out how many minutes of cardio it will take to burn the cake off later. You see that purse, car or house – you want it. You’ll figure out how to actually afford it after you’ve walked out of the store, driven off the lot, or signed the mortgage paper work. You see that guy – you want him. You try to convince God of how perfect you two would be together. The Holy Spirit encourages us to draw near to God. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you (James 4:8). As we draw to God, we will learn to be more patient and more reliant upon God’s perfect timing.

Sometimes, we get so caught up trying to adhere to our plans, dreams and goals that we fail to purposefully pursue God, pray for his will and be obedient to his direction. Today, still yourself before God, pray and listen for his direction and be obedient to His will.

What’s Next
Over the next several days, I invite you to journey with me as I offer tips to use in our purposeful pursuit of God and his will for our lives.

We will look at Purposeful Pursuit of God in:
1) Our Hearts
2) Bible Study
3) Prayer
4) Everyday Life
5) Our Purpose

There will be a key verse of scripture for each post, along with a hashtag in the event you want to tweet or post a status related to the way you are purposefully pursuing God. Today’s hashtag is #purposefulpursuit.

Be blessed,

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P.S. Mothers’ Day is just around the corner. We have gift sets ranging in price from $15 – $50. Visit the ‘Gift Sets” section of our website – www.akingdomcreation.com – to view the options.

Living the Celibate Life: Celebrating Celibacy

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I am ALL about a celebration. Anytime there is a reason to celebrate, I am down for the cause. Many of my friends are the same way. We truly enjoy celebrations. So, for the next few days I am inviting you to celebrate celibacy with me!!

A few years ago, after ending a long term relationship, I decided I wanted to do things God’s way (especially since my way wasn’t working). When I started re-started this journey I thought it would be hard. But it wasn’t (initially). God cleared EVERYTHING (every distraction and anything that could potentially distract me) out of my way so I could focus on him.  At times it is a struggle, but it is worth it. God gives us the strength to persevere when we have a genuine desire to please him.

For me, being celibate is freeing. Sex confuses things.  It (including the emotions that come along with it) makes you stay in less than stellar situations for far too long either because you don’t want to start from scratch with someone new, you don’t want to have sex with yet another person or what you have is better than the unknown and the list goes on and on.

People say they are celibate, but don’t really talk about being celibate and the struggles that go along with it. After enough budding relationships that have ended soon after I uttered three small words (“I am celibate.”), there is a part of me that wonders whether the potential relationship would have had more of a chance if I weren’t celibate.  I wonder if I would be in a serious relationship or married by now if I weren’t celibate.  But then I look around me at the women I know (and don’t know personally) who are having sex and still aren’t in real relationships. So, that proves there is major fault in my logic AND that the devil is busy.

But. Today.  I. Choose.  I choose to be celibate. I choose to continue my journey. I choose live according to God’s good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:1 – 2). I choose to pray and wait on God to send me to the man he has pre-ordained to be my husband. I choose to celebrate my celibacy not just today, but everyday.

For the next few days I will be doing a series on celibacy. I hope my struggles, triumphs and tips are helpful and encouraging.

IT’S (finally) GIVEAWAY TIME!!

Grand Prize

Grand Prize

2nd Prize

2nd Prize

3rd Prize

3rd Prize

In celebration of celibacy, I am doing a GIVEAWAY! Yay for giveaways!! I’ll be giving away a few of my favorite things – a $10 Target gift card, which also doubles as a book mark (grand prize winner only), leather bound devotionals, planners, pens and a 2 oz. Sugarcoated Scrub (Orange Plum)!!

To enter to win 1 of the 3 prizes:

  1. FOLLOW this blog, if you don’t already do so AND
  2. Leave a COMMENT about your most memorable celebration AND
  3. FOLLOW me on Twitter (@TheKingdomChick).

You get up to 3 additional entries by SHARING THE LOVE.  That means retweeting (Twitter), following me on Instagram (@SugarcotedScrubs) and/or following me on Twitter (@SgrcoatedScrubs).

Rules

  • Giveaway open to full time US residents only.
  • Entry requirements must be completed by midnight on Tuesday, November 12, 2013 in order for participant to be eligible to win.
  • Winners will be selected randomly.
  • Winners have 48 hours from notification to respond with mailing address.

Blessings, and thanks for celebrating with me. 

Nefertara